Monday, August 25, 2008

Sportage

The 2008 Beijing Olympics are over. I'm planning on being over in London for the 2012 Olympics to take advantage of some of my friend's hospitality and hopefully Chicago wins the 2016 bid so I can return the favor then. In any case, the Olympics are a pretty huge event apparently.

I barely paid attention.

It's not that I disliked watching the events or anything, its just there were several other things I saw as more deserving of my time besides watching TV. While I'm sure I'd feel differently if I was physically at the arenas watching the events, since I was mostly just meandering around Seoul the entire time, I didn't really take too much notice. The things I did manage to hear about were: some man-fish hybrid named Phelps won a bunch of gold medals, some little Korean girl was able to clean and jerk a small comet's worth of weight, the Korean national team took gold in baseball, and the U.S. team finally got the gold in basketball again.

Now, the only event in the entire Olympics that I paid attention to and went out of my way to watch was basketball. When put against this backdrop, it's pretty plain to see why I don't really pay attention to the Olympics as a whole -- because basketball is the best sport on the planet.

Let me do a quick sport breakdown for everyone.

Basketball: The only sport I love to play, watch, talk about, etc. No other sport even comes close to it in my mind.

American Football: I'll watch the SuperBowl, pay attention to the stats of the guys on my fantasy league team, and occasionally go out to watch a game with the guys over a couple of beers but that's about it. Honestly, most football games are just plain boring for me to watch.

Baseball: Call me if the White Sox win, if not, I'm fine checking the final scores on mlb.com once a week.

Football (Soccer for you Yanks): Cool to watch occasionally but the low scoring dulls my attention span.

Golf: I'll play it once in a while but watching it is going to be my torture if I end up going to hell, I know it.

Swimming: Okay, swim really fast and you win. Ummm...no.

Running: See above; switch "swim" with "run".

Weightlifting: Sort of cool but I usually only watch on the small percent chance that someone's intestines are going to get ejected from their anus as they stress too hard.

Fencing: Okay, this is actually cool to watch but matches are too short and there isn't any blood.

I'll have to continue updating this later on as I think of more sports.

6 comments:

The Expat said...

Way to take our plan and pass it off as your own.

I only like Zorbing.

Mike said...
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Mike said...

I never stated anything about who came up with the plan, I was just stating my intentions. If it makes you feel better I can edit it and put in parentheses everyone who came together to devise the plan along with their vital stats, hopes and aspirations.

But that would be a different post altogether.

I forgot to mention curling.

What the hell is zorbing?

The Expat said...

Look up zorbing. It's the future.

Open Micah said...
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Open Micah said...

Dysentery (or: an infection of the intestinal wall that usually results in a bloody stool) is also known as "bloody flux". Seeing as dysentery is all but gone in the civilized world, I suggest we switch the name for the spew of intestines out of the anuses of weightlifters to that. Think of the commentary: "Ooh, Glen Liftah had a bit of bloody flux there! He got it on the bar... Can he do it?" Or the athlete's pain: "Oi! Oim Glen Liftah an' Oi got me bloody flux on me grabbahs!"