Out of Shape and Pet Peevitry

Another humpday is upon us, which means another post for the blog.

First, I’d like to start with our company basketball game.

Yesterday the AC Nielsen Korea team played our HSBC client team. I guess it’s kind of a heated rivalry since everyone at the office was telling me we had to beat them no matter what. I was told that the series is a pretty even split but that the HSBC team was decidedly more athletic than us. My synopsis is this: they were all height and we were all speed.

Standing at about an even 6 feet tall, I am probably the tallest player on our team. The shortest guy on their team seemed to be at least 2 inches taller than me while the tallest was probably 4 or 5 inches taller than me. The game was split into 4 15 minute quarters and was standard full court. I was almost dead. I can’t believe how out of shape I have become. I used to be able to run full court games for hours and hours on end with no visible signs of fatigue. By the end of the second quarter I was pretty winded but we also had a 30-4 lead. I scored the first 9 points for our team but pretty much played defense the rest of the time. We ended up coasting to a 65-50 win but if the game would have went another quarter, we probably would have lost since they gained a lot of momentum near the end. I’m not sure how many points I had but I had almost 30 rebounds. It was fun and I’m glad we won. We made plans to play again next month so I’m looking forward to that now.

My recent experiences playing basketball have made me realize something: I’m getting old and out of shape. This is not something a 25 year old should be saying and it disgusts me. Therefore, I have decided to start a basketball training regiment like I used to do in college. I need to cut out smoking and drinking (except for maybe on occasional Fridays or Saturdays) and I need to start training like I used to. I will not let up until I am back to my old form and dominating these games we play completely. I estimate if I start my training next week, I will be back to about 60 or 70% in about 3 or 4 months. At that time I will post pictures showing my progress. Hell, I’ll even set a date for it, April 1st. Let’s see what I can do, shall we?

Next, after working in an office again for almost a month, I’ve realized all my old office pet peeves are still there. I sometimes feel like an asshole because I think like this, but other times I think, fuck them, they should stop being assholes. Whatever, here is a short, non-exclusive list of my office pet peeves:

1) People who take the elevator to the 2nd or 3rd floor. Goddamn your lazy ass, take the fucking stairs, it’s not like it’s going to kill you. If you do not suffer from some sort of physical malady, you shouldn’t be taking the elevator to the 2nd or 3rd floor.

2) People who don’t wash their hands after going to the bathroom. I do not want to shake your hand after you have just finished holding your penis or wiping your ass. Wash your damn hands.

3) Ass-kissers. Look, I understand we all need to get ahead in life. You should do that by showing your abilities, not overly complimenting someone in power so they will like you. Close your honey-dripping shit-covered mouth.

4) People who huddle around the water jug like cattle. If you want to socialize while pretending to do work, you might want to do it in a less cliché place. Also, please stop pretending like you weren’t having a conversation when people walk into the room, chances are they don’t care what you are saying anyways.

For the purposes of keeping this post short, I will stop here. Maybe I’ll add more on a later post but for now, I’m done. Just making this list is making me angry.

That’s my post for this humpday. I hope you all have a pleasant one.


Oh yeah, and here is my business card format. If you can't see it too well, sorry, I'll give you one when I see you. Whoever you are.