Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Why I love living in Korea, Part 2 & Updates
Work is the same as always. I haven’t had an insurmountable amount of work but just enough to keep me on my toes and make sure I’m not leaving at some ridiculous hour every night. I have a new client who I won’t name yet but let’s say they are by far the hugest client I have ever been given. I see some long nights in the office on the horizon because of them but I guess it’s a good opportunity to show what I can do. I’ll keep people updated about my progress with them because something tells me my performance with this account will hold bearing over a lot of my career here for awhile.
Gym progress is also going well. I’ve started mixing my days and routines up a lot more so I’m about ready to take my workouts to the next level. I’ve also noticed quite a bit of physical change but I’m going to wait for people to see it for themselves when I get back in December.
Other than that, things are pretty much the same though I’ve picked up a few new hobbies and started a few old ones up again. I’ve started writing again which I haven’t done in quite a few years. Me and Jayce are planning on attending an open mic night sometime in the near future to give a brief live set which should be interesting. I’m also picking up painting, which is much more relaxing than I ever imagined. Other than that things, life is pretty much the same.
Oh, and I am also hereby declaring war on any and all things mosquito. I am going to kill you all you little bastards.
Now on to my “Why I love living in Korea” post.
1) There is ready to be consumed food EVERYWHERE at any hour of any day.
Seriously, anywhere you walk there are restaurants, little food pubs, food stands, etc. Plus it is cheap, dirt cheap. You would have to literally have your mouth removed to starve in Korea.
2) You can buy beer at a convenience store and drink it in front of said convenience store.
Yes, and they also set up chairs and tables for you to sit at no less. This is the common way for people to get together and drink when they are on a budget. The other cool thing about this is there is no such thing as public intoxication. I mean you would have to go stone cold Nicolas Cage from “Leaving Las Vegas” before the cops would even bat an eye in your direction. Not that I’ve ever taken part in anything like that mind you.
3) JimJilBang.
For 10,000 won (about 11 dollars) you can sit in a variety of hot bath tubs, swim in the cold bath pool, bake in a wide range of saunas, drink beers in the ice room, watch movies, eat, etc. all night and even sleep there. This is all in one building. I swear this is the idea of the century.
I’ll leave my list at that for now to give myself time to think about more things to add and people who are interested in asking questions about the stuff I’ve listed. There will be further lists in the future.
Last but not least, a happy belated birthday goes to my Father who just turned 49 again. Love you Dad.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
The knife's edge
So, work starts out as any normal Wednesday does, working on some random project while taking intermittent trips to the water fountain for more tea. I then find out at around 3:00pm that I will have a presentation the coming Friday for Walt Disney. Now, I have not heard about this, I have seen not hide nor hair of the report and I don’t even know the content of the project or the NAME of it. The fake apologetic tones coming from the person who relayed this information to me made me even angrier.
“I’m so sorry for the late request, but please understand us.”
“No, I won’t understand you. I don’t want to understand you. I don’t want to come within a trillion miles of the bridge that leads in the direction to coming close to understanding you. Just gimme the damn report and let me at this thing.”
“Okay, we will give it to you as soon as we finish it.”
“When will that be?”
“Umm, I’ll get right back to you.”
I’m sure you can see where this is leading at this point. To make things short, I ended up not getting the report until 4:30pm on Thursday and the presentation was at 9:30am that following day. I had to turn the report into a good report into a presentation and memorize the content. The kicker here is despite the time I spent on the presentation, at 9:27am that Friday morning (read: 3 minutes before the presentation) that they wouldn’t be using my version, but rather one that they had cooked up that morning. I was ready to draw blood.
The one saving grace of this whole debacle was the fact that I already knew the content of the report, possibly better than the report did. It was covering current business opportunities in the English second language system here, something I was apart of for 15 months. This was probably the fact that saved my ass and the asses of the team I helped.
The presentation went very well and I secured a longer term contract with them because of it. As a result I will now be handling everything that comes from them regarding this issue. It felt good to nail something so important with the amount of time I had to prepare for it, but I’m still pissed about the whole thing in general.
An interesting addend to this comes from while I was going to the presentation that Friday morning. First I get up and leave extra early, as is my habit for presentations, so I could have about a 30-40 minute window in case something happens.
Something did happen.
As I was riding the train, an elderly drunken fellow gets on the train in classic red-faced, stumble mode. Unfortunately he wasn’t of the quite drunk-type and obviously had a few words he wanted to say to me. He basically called me “a dirty American bastard” in translation to which I quickly responded with a sharp glare and a “야…말 조심해라 아저씨..” or “Watch your damn mouth old man” which quickly ended the confrontation as he got a little surprised and had obviously arrived at his stop and got off.
After that, the train got packed. I mean PACKED. I eventually got pushed off 3 stops before my stop because of the physics of people pushing into the train and people getting pushed off on the other end. El Nino, Korean train style. So I ended up waiting about 40 minutes for a taxi and arrived a few minutes before the presentation started.
Anyways, that’s my rant. Long as hell, I know, but it feels good to get it all out there.
As far as other things, the PS3 should be here in a day or two so I’m pretty excited. Unfortunately I might not get to play it right away since I have another presentation this week I have been preparing for. I can’t wait until the weekend though so I can officially tear into this thing and see firsthand the potential addictive properties.
I will update more later as it is time to eat lunch.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
PS3 me
Now that writing about one of the more exciting things going on for me is over (yes, I know, whatever), I can elaborate on more of the details of my mundane life…
Work has been pretty hectic lately. Not so much in the sense of staying late, but rather the amount of stuff I do while I am there. I am usually juggling 3 or 4 projects at once along with a series of other smaller side things all while trying to learn another side of our business. The programs I’m using are pretty interesting and the level of expectation from me is getting pretty high. I guess I’m pretty happy I finally have a job that challenges me somewhat.
I also set a date for my brother’s trip out to visit me. He should be here for about 3 weeks or so from mid-July or so and I’m looking forward to him coming out here again. Though it might be the last time I get to see him for 3-5 years, I’m really proud of him finally taking some initiative to change his own life’s direction and join the Navy. While I’m not sure where he will be stationed, it would be pretty cool if he could get out to Korea once in a while. Either way, I’m sure we will enjoy the 3 short weeks he is here. Prepare yourself bro.
Other than all of this, I really don’t have anything else going on lately. I hope to post some pictures and videos on here soon for people to enjoy. Perhaps I will over the weekend when I have more time.
Off to the gym with me…
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Juxtaposition
Work has been particularly interesting lately, albeit rather busy. Last week I got to present two projects to a client, one of which I had 3 days to work on. Essentially that meant I had 3 days to turn a report into a good report into a presentation into a concise and effective presentation and finally memorize all of the key points. The entire thing lasted about 3 hours or so and it went extremely well. The second in command of my company was there to watch me as well.
I recently found out that my job title and position will be changing effective this March, due mostly to the results of my presentations. I will now be handling RMS (Retail Management Services) business as well as my original CRS (Customized Research Services) duties. This means that I will be doing more of the presentations to big clients and also get a chance to get my hands on more of the raw data for projects. Up until this point, I’ve been mostly handling the ass end of reports and final presentations. This switch means I will be able to gain a more holistic approach to what we do here. More responsibility and more work. Same pay. Ha.
I also participated in the recent inter-company basketball game. Since I’ve been getting back into shape and running lately, my basketball legs are also returning to me. It was pretty evident that I still have some rust spots to work out but this recent game was my best outing at the company yet. My CRS team beat the RMS team 107-68. We pretty much pulled away after the first quarter and built close to a 50 point lead in the fourth. I don’t know how many points I scored (between 20 or 30) but I cleaned up on the boards (42) as usual. And yes, I do keep track of my rebound total. It’s all I have to be proud of. I look forward to next week’s game.
Enough about work though.
This coming Saturday marks the 26th anniversary of my entrance into this world. I guess it is rather unfair to most people to say that I feel like I’m getting old but, whatever, I’m getting old. While I am eager to start what I am sure will be a more successful quarter century, I can’t help but feel a bit nostalgic and sad when I look back at my more carefree, responsibility-less days. I guess you can really tell you’re getting on in years when you start using the word “nostalgic”. In any case, happy birthday to me.
Things are really starting to move forward on the travel plans for the next year.
In April I will be going to Japan to see a few old friends. I am kind of mad at myself for going so long without seeing them but at least it’s good to see that they still remember me. I look forward to meeting you guys.
After that, my bro-ham will be coming out here in June for a little while and I’m excited to see him. Fresh from graduating from high school and he already has traveled more than I did at his age. I look forward to showing him around Seoul some more. Also in June (?), I will be going out to Japan again to attend a Jungle Juice beach party, something along the lines of what I did during my year there. I’ve heard they’ve had one every year since we introduced it back in 2002 so I’m looking forward to being there for the 5 year anniversary. Watch out kids, the Jungle Juice King is back.
In July (hopefully), Marc and Ralph will be making it out here so I can show them around Korea. It’s going to be hard to synchronize everything, and the price of the trip is a pretty steep but I’m confident that they will get here and have a good time.
And of course, in September I will be going home for a couple of weeks to see the family and friends.
So as you can see, I’ve got a lot to look forward to the next couple of months. Maybe 26 will be the best year yet.
Here’s to hoping…
Saturday, February 10, 2007
"Who has efficient nipples?"
This is my line of the week, courtesy of “Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law”, one of the DVDs my Mom sent me. I can’t believe how much I love cartoons.
First I guess I’ll start with the Super Bowl and the all-too-unfortunate ass whipping handed to my hometown team. Even more unfortunate was the way I found out about the result. The friends and I had a pact going that we would refrain from the internet all of Monday because we were taping the Super Bowl (it started at 7:50am Monday for us here in Korea) and we were going to meet at night and watch the game. I figured I would be fine since my company is 99% Korean and nobody (or so I thought) cares about American football. Everything was fine until 3pm when I walked into the bathroom. As I looked up, there was one of my friends with this sad look on his face as he said “I’m sorry about your team, Mike”. ARGH!! I was waiting TWO WEEKS for this day and you had to ruin it!!! If he wasn’t so sad about ruining it for me, I would have ripped off his scrotum and fed it to him. We still got together and watched the game, but it just wasn’t the same. Oh well, there’s always next year.
Now onto work developments:
Work has definitely been picking up for me lately as the bags under my computer worn eyes can attest. Not that I am complaining. The work is pretty interesting and I am left alone to my own devices for the most part. I also get a fair amount of freedom when it comes to changes in projects that I am working on and people actually listen to my opinions when I give them. All in all I’d have to say that work has been rather copacetic if not just a little tiring.
I haven’t been able to do much blogging lately due to time restrictions and I don’t see that changing too much in the foreseeable future. Besides work I am also engaged in Korean language study (and Japanese when I get the time) as well as deciding on MBA programs and when I will take the GMAT test. Mix that in with meeting the girlfriend when I can, going to the gym, and occasionally meeting the boys from my old job for a drink or two and we have a recipe for the quintessential 26 hour day. I guess as long as I’m occupied it’s all good.
I was able to use what little free time this week to meet up with Joel and Anthony near Joel’s house for a burger and some beers. I was able to buy one of Anthony’s books entitled “A really good book (about Korea)” which is the culmination of 3 years in Korea and a lot of hard work. It’s a perfect bathroom book due to each page being a story from some point in his life in Korea. It’s rather unfortunate that despite all of the efforts put into it he won’t be able to profit at all from it due to publishing. Oh well, I’m sure he didn’t do it for the money. I recommend to anyone who would like a quick guide to some of the strangeness/wonderfulness of Korea to pick this book up. I especially like the story where some girl described him as “Harry Potter’s friend” Ron. I want to meet her and pat her on the back.
Now that the cable guy is gone and I can watch television, it adds one more entertainment element to my apartment that it was sorely lacking. Even though chances are I won’t get a lot of time to watch it, it’s still nice to have. Plus I have 2 cartoon channels. Yay.
That is this week’s update. I promise to start writing more in Korean and Japanese once the pressure at work lets up.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Updelayted
I've been doing a lot of spending for the apartment lately. I just got my brand new desktop (i'm using it right now) and I'm on the market for a desk and a couple of new suits. Next month I will make the final (major) addition to my apartment, a new fridge. So as you can see, I have to buy a lot of things. The apartment should be pretty pimped out by the time I finish at which point I will post pictures of it.
Work has been going rather slowly lately with brief moments of pure insanity. I have another presentation coming up in a couple of weeks. The topic is contraception. Yep, I will have to present to the German board about their product and how well it stops conception in the eyes of Korean consumers. So I get to use such terms as "external ejaculation" and "vaginal insertion" in a business atmosphere and still be considered professional. I guess that all depends on if I laugh afterwards or not. So here's to professional contraception. We'll stop that baby....with a suit on.
The Super Bowl party will be going down tomorrow at my friend Dave's house. This means I have to stay off of the internet from the moment I get into work tomorrow until the moment I leave. A momentous task considering how much time I spend on the internet. It will be kinda cool to be able to sit around and drink beer, eat subs (or whatever the hell we get) and watch the game with the boys.
Go Bears!
I will be updating again later on this week. Now that I have a computer at home, I should be able to do a little bit more with this blog so look for that in the future.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Membership Trainin'
It started out on Friday morning at 8:00am. I was going on only a few hours of sleep since I went out to chill with the Wonderland boys the night before and had to stay up and pack everything I would need. After consuming a Starbucks Double Shot and making my way groggily towards work, I saw the 2 buses we would be riding for most of the day. They were huge tour buses and were parked right out in front of the company building. After helping load some things and taking a moment to check my e-mail, we departed from the company at about 9:00am.
Most of us were pretty tired so from nine until about eleven thirty we all slept until the bus came to a halt at a stop over station. I roused myself so I could use the bathroom and have another coffee. After having lunch at a pretty cool fish restaurant, we started off again towards our next destination: the boat.

Me on the boat
The boat ride lasted about 2 hours or so and was very scenic. Even though it was incredibly cold on the roof of the boat, we all braved it for awhile so we could get some good photos. The wind was cold but clean and the scenery was really beautiful.
The boat we rode on from an elevated angle

View from the top of the boat
Would hate to fall off of that
After getting off the boat and back on the buses, we traveled for a couple more hours until we were at a cave. Everyone (except the upper managers) went through a 40 minute cave walk where I found out I am a mild claustrophobic. Some parts of the cave were really nice too look at but for the most part it was climbing wet, rusty stairs and steering clear of bumping your head on a protruding rock. The coolest thing about this excursion was the fact that I got to use the word “spelunking” about 10 times in context.

Inside the cave
After heading out of the cave, we hopped back on the buses and made our way to the final destination: the resort. The resort itself was pretty nice looking and you could tell that it was huge. After getting settled into our rooms, I met up with our team so we could put the finishing touches on the performance we would be doing that evening. We worked on it for about 40 minutes then made our way down to the main dining hall and dined on some delicious bulgogi with tons of side dishes. The main event we were all waiting for happened right after dinner.

Part of the resort we stayed at
The party room was set up really nicely. There were about 10 really large tables set up for people to sit down at and a little stage set up complete with karaoke machine. We started by introducing ourselves to everyone (there were about 100+ people involved in this after all) and as soon as we were finished, we had to drink a boilermaker in one drink. For those of you that don’t know, a boilermaker is a glass of beer with a shot of whiskey dropped in it. Most of us had to drink super-boilermakers (half beer/half whiskey) and there were quite a few red-faced girls by the end of it. We ended up spending about 4+ hours in the party room and did all sorts of fun stuff including: team games/ karaoke singing/ newcomers performances (we got 2nd place)/ and random drinking games. We polished it all off with a visit to the largest karaoke room I’ve ever seen and spent about two hours there singing. I got to sing Stevie Wonder’s “Lately” and Billy Joel’s “Piano Man” all to rousing cheers which were probably more for me having the balls to sing in front of the company rather than my singing abilities. It was fun.

The party room

Me introducing our team
Finally, we all grabbed a night cap in a room the company rented for solely that purpose. After hanging out for awhile there, I finally got to bed. The next morning I woke up, ate and hopped on the bus back home. It was a great trip and I got to take lots of good pictures and videos. I hope the next MT (sometime in summer I think) is at least as good as this one was but I think it’s going to be hard to top.
Here’s to MTs.

The view from my room in the morning
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Snow In Korea
I may or may not post something on other days but feel free to check/comment whenever time allows you to.
So, today was big presentation part 2 (2 ½ if you want to count the last one I second-chaired for) and it was the most important one I have done thus far. This time it was for ING Life, an insurance company and the pressure was on. Not only was the Managing Director from the company there (all the way from wherever the hell he’s from, I think Belgium) but so was my big boss, the big boss of the Korean branch, and all of the other board members. I was expecting to do about a 25 minute presentation on their ethics management implementation but two minutes before it started I was told it had to be cut down to 10 minutes. Imagine my excitement. Now I had to cut down a report that had already been cut down and leave only the meatiest of the meat all with two minutes of prep time. I don’t think I did as well as the first presentation but everyone seemed satisfied, especially my big boss, who was the person I wanted to impress anyways. All in all, it was stressful as hell but I made out in the end. I guess that’s the important part.
Damn I need a drink.
As for updates, nothing of great importance has happened this past week except I have finally put up my Christmas tree (all 2 ½ feet of it) with the help of my girlfriend. I plan on posting pictures before the end of this week so check back in for those on Friday when I hope to have my official Christmas post.
Oh yeah, and it snowed here on Saturday. Some of the biggest, most fluffy flakes I have ever seen. Me and the boys had some fun chucking snowballs at each other. I even made a miniature snowbaby on the hood of some guy’s car. I hope nobody snow-aborted it. I was pretty drunk, but nowhere near as drunk as George who went outside the bar and started chucking snowballs at random people even with his sandals on. Then, some guy who we were thinking about beating up because he kept staring at us ended up being one of the coolest guys I have met in awhile. He ended up being able to speak some Japanese, so I got to have the drunken Japanese conversation I’ve been looking for. Yay for me. So all in all, not such an eventful week, but fun nonetheless.
Keep checking for my Christmas update.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Thank Gonzo It's Friday
All other days of the week should slit their wrists because they will never measure up to the greatness that is Friday. Well, Saturday is cool too I guess.
So, another week at work ends which means the usual bevy of questions. What will I do? Who will I meet? Where will I go? What should I eat?
Figuring these questions out is only some of the fun Fridays bring.
On the technology front, I plan on getting my new cell phone this weekend which should be pretty kickass. It’s going to cost about 800 dollars but since I am signing an 18-month contract with them, I can spread it out over that time so it will cost me about 40 or so a month. It’s a pretty awesome phone. It has a turnable screen so I can watch TV on it, a pretty good digital camera (the coolest thing is the photo option), an MP3 player, a blender, and I can even use it as a phone. Pretty cool, huh? Okay, I was lying about the blender part. I should also be picking up my computer soon which will add a whole new dimension of fun to the house. Finally, I have about 60 hours now logged on my Final Fantasy 12 game and I recently realized that I am only about ¾ of the way through it. For all of you that care: all characters are currently at level 43 and I just beat the Tyrant dragon boss. For all of you that don’t care: Final Fantasy is still cooler than you, crumb.
On the work front, I have yet another presentation next week, this time for the Board of ING Life. The key words for this project are speed and conciseness. I only have about 20 minutes to give a review of their Ethics Management system that we have been researching for over a year. Apparently most people here don’t like high-end presentations because there is too much pressure. I can see why. We have 20 minutes to show them why it justifies contracting another year long project with us. Essentially, the presenter can fuck up a year’s worth of work for many people in a third of an hour. I love the pressure, I live for it. I like watching my colleague’s worried eyes as we walk into the room, its pure hilarity. I guess it’s the job of the young, gung-ho new-hire to not grasp the gravity of the situation at hand but I think it’s just that reason that I do well in these things.
On a side note, I sat in on a presentation I helped design this week for the Japanese ophthalmology company, Santen. They had the Japanese CEO and CFO there who I quickly introduced to myself in Japanese. Even though it has become a bit rusty, I can still get around pretty well and the 2 guys loved me for it. I found out the CEO actually lives like a 5 minute walk from where I used to dorm in Inage. Small world. Anyway, this made the atmosphere of the presentation a little more friendly which helped my friend give a great presentation. I hope to go out drinking with the Japanese guys soon. It’s been too long since I’ve drank with a Japanese businessman. It’s kind of like drinking with your cool uncle back home, only shorter.
Ah yes, it’s almost Christmas. It’s funny how my almost complete lack of Christian values and way of life don’t stop me from enjoying this holiday. I’m not saying that I only enjoy the commercial end, I mean actually still do get the “Christmas Spirit” around this time. Well, I’m not going to blow my load on this post as far as Christmas is concerned, I’ll save a whole new post for that next week.
Finally, I’ll end with a few pictures of my workplace. Enjoy.
This is right when you get off on the elevator on the 9th floor
My throne of power. See the upside-down water bottle? That's my humidifier.
The view from the bathroom window.
View from the water jug.
Some funny English for you. Okay, the advertisement was actually for an English school trying to point out that the sentence was funny English but still, funny nonetheless.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Out of Shape and Pet Peevitry
First, I’d like to start with our company basketball game.
Yesterday the AC Nielsen Korea team played our HSBC client team. I guess it’s kind of a heated rivalry since everyone at the office was telling me we had to beat them no matter what. I was told that the series is a pretty even split but that the HSBC team was decidedly more athletic than us. My synopsis is this: they were all height and we were all speed.
Standing at about an even 6 feet tall, I am probably the tallest player on our team. The shortest guy on their team seemed to be at least 2 inches taller than me while the tallest was probably 4 or 5 inches taller than me. The game was split into 4 15 minute quarters and was standard full court. I was almost dead. I can’t believe how out of shape I have become. I used to be able to run full court games for hours and hours on end with no visible signs of fatigue. By the end of the second quarter I was pretty winded but we also had a 30-4 lead. I scored the first 9 points for our team but pretty much played defense the rest of the time. We ended up coasting to a 65-50 win but if the game would have went another quarter, we probably would have lost since they gained a lot of momentum near the end. I’m not sure how many points I had but I had almost 30 rebounds. It was fun and I’m glad we won. We made plans to play again next month so I’m looking forward to that now.
My recent experiences playing basketball have made me realize something: I’m getting old and out of shape. This is not something a 25 year old should be saying and it disgusts me. Therefore, I have decided to start a basketball training regiment like I used to do in college. I need to cut out smoking and drinking (except for maybe on occasional Fridays or Saturdays) and I need to start training like I used to. I will not let up until I am back to my old form and dominating these games we play completely. I estimate if I start my training next week, I will be back to about 60 or 70% in about 3 or 4 months. At that time I will post pictures showing my progress. Hell, I’ll even set a date for it, April 1st. Let’s see what I can do, shall we?
Next, after working in an office again for almost a month, I’ve realized all my old office pet peeves are still there. I sometimes feel like an asshole because I think like this, but other times I think, fuck them, they should stop being assholes. Whatever, here is a short, non-exclusive list of my office pet peeves:
1) People who take the elevator to the 2nd or 3rd floor. Goddamn your lazy ass, take the fucking stairs, it’s not like it’s going to kill you. If you do not suffer from some sort of physical malady, you shouldn’t be taking the elevator to the 2nd or 3rd floor.
2) People who don’t wash their hands after going to the bathroom. I do not want to shake your hand after you have just finished holding your penis or wiping your ass. Wash your damn hands.
3) Ass-kissers. Look, I understand we all need to get ahead in life. You should do that by showing your abilities, not overly complimenting someone in power so they will like you. Close your honey-dripping shit-covered mouth.
4) People who huddle around the water jug like cattle. If you want to socialize while pretending to do work, you might want to do it in a less cliché place. Also, please stop pretending like you weren’t having a conversation when people walk into the room, chances are they don’t care what you are saying anyways.
For the purposes of keeping this post short, I will stop here. Maybe I’ll add more on a later post but for now, I’m done. Just making this list is making me angry.
That’s my post for this humpday. I hope you all have a pleasant one.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Humpday
As usual, I mostly only have work-related stuff to share since I'm still getting settled in my neighborhood and don't go out much lately. Once I get fully settled in though, I'm sure I'll be back to my old antics. Bet you can't wait.
Either way, here it goes.
I just finished a presentation today for the board of Buy The Way, a convenience store here in Korea. I put some effort into it, but I didn't really try as hard as I could of (the story of my life). Basically, it was me, my 2 co-workers who had actually been working on the project for its entirety (about 6 months), 4 investors from Hong Kong, the president and CEO of Buy The Way and 3 random Korean-Hong Kongers. I was probably the youngest person in the room by a couple decades and I had an hour long presentation (which turned into 2 hours with all the questions) to do on a company I barely know using notes from research I hadn't done.
I smelt disaster.
My sense of smell must have been off though since everyone gave me great feedback and applause. The president knew that I hadn't actually worked on the research since he had been in on it since the beginning and apparently I surprised him with my knowledge of the subject matter. I must say it was kinda humbling being in front of all of these people who are the big swinging dicks in their companies and have all of their eyes focusing directly on me and what I'm saying. On the other hand though, I felt the power. HA. I don't know what else to call it. It was a great experience to say the least and now my company will hopefully keep giving me high-profile clients to present to. The challenge, the uncertainty, I fucking love it.
It also seems that I will be getting my business cards today. One side English and the other side Hindi. Just kidding, Korean. Once I get my hands on them I will post a picture or something. I'm sure it's pretty easy to see how elated I am currently, but whatever, I'm feeling pretty damn good at recent developments.
On the home front, nothing has changed except the size of the ass-print on my quasi-couch from sitting and incessantly playing Final Fantasy 12. That and watching Venture Brothers. My home life pretty much consists of those two things and sleeping. I also shower occasionally. I will be calling the cable/internet/phone guy this weekend and hopefully get everything I need in those departments installed. I also need the curtain-hanger guy to come over and hand some curtains for me eventually. I hate not being able to walk around my house naked without people looking at me. Sometimes I do anyways for their enjoyment.
So to sum up this post: presentation, name card, elation, ass-print, quasi-couch, naked.
Yep, that'll do it.
Oh yeah, and felk. I love that word.
Friday, December 01, 2006
A real taste
As you all know, Week one was a bust, all I did was sit around on my ass and search internet sites. By the end of yesterday though, it was starting to look like a whole different monster. I have been attending mandatory training sessions for the last week and they can be pure hell. It's not so much the sitting in the same chair for hours on end as it is attempting to learn the materials when it is taught completely in Korean. I will be the first to admit that my Korean is not that good (despite attempts by my co-workers to convince me otherwise) and I cannot pretend that I understand more than about 20 percent of what they are talking about during these sessions. I mean, they are discussing quantitative analysis studies and how they relate to consumer behavior in a language I have been studying for about a year and a half at speeds that even my co-workers say is too fast. On top of it, I have homework for the sessions almost everyday. Then they wonder why I can't complete it.
"It would take me at least 3 weeks to complete this since it is completely in Korean."
"Umm...okay..can you turn it in tomorrow?"
"No, because by my math, tomorrow would be 1 day, not 3 weeks."
"Oh, okay, don't worry about it."
(shrugs shoulders, goes back to looking at nba.com)
Not that I don't want to learn the material, it's just I insisted on having the necessary materials in English. So, I finally get the materials in English yesterday covering all of the models and discussion materials and then I am asked to take the test today.
"Umm..just got the materials yesterday..."
"Oh..so you can take the test?"
"No, because I haven't had time to cover all of the material."
"But it's in English."
"Yes, but unfortunately, I am yet incapable of reading 100 pages a minute."
"Oh, okay, you can take it next time."
Obviously, there are some communication barriers that need to be overcome by management and most of the staff here since I was told last night by my boss that I shouldn't even be going to these sessions. So after sitting at a computer screen for 5 mind-numbing hours in a row having a lady talk into my ear about how to manipulate a program I will never use, I get this information from my boss. Needless to say, it has been a bit frustrating but as always, I will get through it.
The projects I am working on, on the other hand, are very fun. I am covering a project for Johnson & Johnson while simultaneously preparing for a presentation for Buy The Way, a convienience store chain. I have a lot of groundwork to cover and a shitload of notes to memorize, but it is very challenging and fun. I am interested to see what this job turns into. I am sure I will be regretting that statement in the near future too...
In other news, last night was the official "welcome the new guys" party. About 25 or us went out for Sam Gyup Sal (kinda like thick-ass bacon, yummy) and lots of Soju. They wanted to see if I was a strong drinker...they found out the hard way. Now half the company knows not to lay their livers on the table when it comes to drinking with me.
"Wow, you're a strong drinker!"
"Wow, you're not, drink."
I shall conclude this week's rant with more pictures. Enjoy.

My new bed. Yes, the blanket is green. But it is so much more comfortable than whatever rag you will be curling up in tonight.

This is my official work badge. The Korean above my name, when literally translated, means: "is much cooler than you, dick". Actually it's my name.

This picture was just precious. I can't even remember how long ago this was taken. Thanks Marc! Sorry Ralph :(
To be fair, you can see me all painted up at my friend George's site. www.gromeiser.blogspot.com
Enjoy
Friday, November 24, 2006
Thanks for the land, suckers
I started at around one of the busiest times of the year for companies here, the dreaded fiscal year-end. This essentially means that my company and probably a vast majority of publicly traded companies here must close out their budgets and start making the new budget for the following fiscal year. This also means that there is almost nothing for the new guy(me) to do. So I really didn't get to do much work this past week but I think I have an idea of what is waiting for me around the bend. I've spent some time talking with Glyn, the only other foreign worker here from England, and he has given me some of his projects to look over. I can tell you now that I will eventually be in for some LONG evenings here. Whatever, better than sitting at my desk with my thumbs competing for ass-time.
The people here are pretty cool. I'm already a member of the company basketball team (we don't play competitively, just for fun) and I had my first outing with them this past Tuesday. We will be meeting twice a month for a few hours of good ol' ball-playing. Some of them are pretty good and Tuesday helped show me how out of shape I have become (not that I didn't dominate the boards as always). Oh well, add another thing to the list of shit to do while here (Note to self: self, stop being so damn lazy and get active again). After the games, we went out and drank some soju and I bullshitted with some of my co-workers. Good times.
In other news, my apartment is still pretty much the same as I left it this past weekend. I will, however, be out shopping for stuff this weekend. I have included some pictures of how it looks now but don't get accustomed to them, it will be changing soon (and i'll be posting more pictures).
Finally, I would like to wish a happy turkey day to everyone reading this. Since I was broke my turkey day dinner consisted of ramen noodles and rice. Yummy. I miss all of the food at home and getting to see all of my family around one dinner table. I don't, however, miss all of the bullshit images perpetuated around Thanksgiving. You know, all of the posters of happy turkeys seemingly blissful of the gruesome death that awaits them and cutesy images of pilgrims and indians gathering around the table like the Brady family. I'm all for family gatherings and good food, but let's at least get the facts about the holiday correct. Speaking of which:
(You can skip the italicized parts if you want, it's just a history lesson.)
When the Pilgrims came to New England they were coming not to vacant land but to territory inhabited by tribes of Indians. The story goes that the Pilgrims, who were Christians of the Puritan sect, were fleeing religious persecution in Europe. They had fled England and went to Holland, and from there sailed aboard the Mayflower, where they landed at Plymouth Rock in what is now Massachusetts.
Religious persecution or not, they immediately turned to their religion to rationalize their persecution of others. They appealed to the Bible, Psalms 2:8: "Ask of me, and I shall give thee, the heathen for thine inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for thy possession." To justify their use of force to take the land, they cited Romans 13:2: "Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation."
The Puritans lived in uneasy truce with the Pequot Indians, who occupied what is now southern Connecticut and Rhode Island. But they wanted them out of the way; they wanted their land. And they seemed to want to establish their rule firmly over Connecticut settlers in that area.
In 1636 an armed expedition left Boston to attack the Narragansett Indians on Block Island. The English landed and killed some Indians, but the rest hid in the thick forests of the island and the English went from one deserted village to the next, destroying crops. Then they sailed back to the mainland and raided Pequot villages along the coast, destroying crops again.
The English went on setting fire to wigwams of the village. They burned village after village to the ground. As one of the leading theologians of his day, Dr. Cotton Mather put it: "It was supposed that no less than 600 Pequot souls were brought down to hell that day." And Cotton Mather, clutching his bible, spurred the English to slaughter more Indians in the name of Christianity.
Three hundred thousand Indians were murdered in New England over the next few years. It is important to note: The ordinary Englishmen did not want this war and often, very often, refused to fight. Some European intellectuals like Roger Williams spoke out against it. And some erstwhile colonists joined the Indians and even took up arms against the invaders from England. It was the Puritan elite who wanted the war, a war for land, for gold, for power. And, in the end, the Indian population of 10 million that was in North America when Columbus came was reduced to less than one million.
The way the different Indian peoples lived -- communally, consensually, making decisions through tribal councils, each tribe having different sexual/marriage relationships, where many different sexualities were practiced as the norm -- contrasted dramatically with the Puritan's Christian fundamentalist values. For the Puritans, men decided everything, whereas in the Iroquois federation of what is now New York state women chose the men who represented the clans at village and tribal councils; it was the women who were responsible for deciding on whether or not to go to war. The Christian idea of male dominance and female subordination was conspicuously absent in Iroquois society.
There were many other cultural differences: The Iroquois did not use harsh punishment on children. They did not insist on early weaning or early toilet training, but gradually allowed the child to learn to care for themselves. And, they did not believe in ownership of land; they utilized the land, lived on it. The idea of ownership was ridiculous, absurd. The European Christians, on the other hand, in the spirit of the emerging capitalism, wanted to own and control everything -- even children and other human beings. The pastor of the Pilgrim colony, John Robinson, thus advised his parishioners: "And surely there is in all children a stubbornness, and stoutness of mind arising from natural pride, which must, in the first place, be broken and beaten down; that so the foundation of their education being laid in humility and tractableness, other virtues may, in their time, be built thereon." That idea sunk in.
One colonist said that the plague that had destroyed the Patuxet people -- a combination of slavery, murder by the colonists and disease -- was "the Wonderful Preparation of the Lord Jesus Christ by His Providence for His People's Abode in the Western World." The Pilgrims robbed Wampanoag graves for the food that had been buried with the dead for religious reasons. Whenever the Pilgrims realized they were being watched, they shot at the Wampanoags, and scalped them. Scalping had been unknown among Native Americans in New England prior to its introduction by the English, who began the practice by offering the heads of their enemies and later accepted scalps.
"What do you think of Western Civilization?" Mahatma Gandhi was asked in the 1940s. To which Gandhi replied: "Western Civilization? I think it would be a good idea." And so enters "Civilization," the civilization of Christian Europe, a "civilizing force" that couldn't have been more threatened by the beautiful anarchy of the Indians they encountered, and so slaughtered them.
These are the Puritans that the Indians "saved", and whom we celebrate in the holiday, Thanksgiving. Tisquantum, also known as Squanto, a member of the Patuxet Indian nation. Samoset, of the Wabonake Indian nation, which lived in Maine. They went to Puritan villages and, having learned to speak English, brought deer meat and beaver skins for the hungry, cold Pilgrims. Tisquantum stayed with them and helped them survive their first years in their New World. He taught them how to navigate the waters, fish and cultivate corn and other vegetables. He pointed out poisonous plants and showed how other plants could be used as medicines. He also negotiated a peace treaty between the Pilgrims and Massasoit, head chief of the Wampanoags, a treaty that gave the Pilgrims everything and the Indians nothing. And even that treaty was soon broken. All this is celebrated as the First Thanksgiving.
If you bothered reading this, good for you. If you are skipping to the pictures, good for you too cause here they are:
(Remember that my apartment is shaped like a giant L-block from Tetris)
The long view of my apartment from where will be my bed.

Kitchen action. Yes, the fridge is the size of my thumb. It shall be replaced.

Side view of the "closet" space. I will be getting sliding doors to cover those.

My office building at night, from across the street. I work on the 9th floor.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Monday
I moved into my new apartment this past Saturday. I guess my initial perception of the apartment was wrong because once I started getting things in there, it wasn't as small as I had previously thought.
The cool things about this apartment:
1) I have my own apartment again
2) It's in probably the biggest party area in Seoul, Hong-Dae
3) It's just been renovated so it's very clean
4) The layout is going to challenge my creativity for arranging apartments
The not so cool things about this apartment:
1) Until Sunday, I had no hot water or heat
2) It's in probably the biggest party area in Seoul, Hong-Dae (yes, it's a bad thing too)
3) It's far as hell from everyone I know
4) I have to furnish it still
I went out yesterday and in five trips managed to get it somewhat furnished though I am nowhere near completion. I bought a TV and converter (all night Final Fantasy sessions, here I come!). I also managed to get a humidifier and some other odds and ends around the kitchen. I guess I'm satisfied so far but I'm sure every weekend for the next couple months is going to involve me doing something for the apartment. Things I need to get include; a bed, curtains for the windows, a computer and computer desk, kitchen table and dishes, cool posters, a wine bar, and a stereo. This is by no means an exclusive list. I figure if I'm gonna be in this place for up to two years, I best pimp it out. I have the money now after all. I will be including pictures of the apartment as soon as I figure out how to get them on my work laptop.
That's it for now I suppose. As always, I will keep everyone updated.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
First Day
6:00am (Chicago Time) - Wake Up
7:30am - Leave for airport
9:ooam - Arrive at airport
9:30am - Have my liquor stolen at the security check (Bastards)
11:00am - Plane Departs for Tokyo
11:30pm - Plane arrives in Tokyo (yep, 12 1/2 hours later)
4:00am - Plane departs for Seoul
6:30am - Plane arrives in Seoul
7:ooam - Take bus to Seoul
8:00am - Arrive at Dave's house (11pm Seoul Time)
So, for all of you mathematicians out there, that's 26 hours spent en-route. Lots of fun. I hope all of you out there get to enjoy it sometime.
After moving shit around and getting dressed at Dave's, I went out to meet some friends who had gathered at one of our watering holes in Gangnam, Woodstock. After drinking and bullshitting for a few hours, I needed to get home and finally get some sleep. After sleeping for about 6 hours, I woke up and got ready to go and meet my girlfriend. I had spent a lot of time deciding what to purchase for her so I was happy that she liked the things I had picked out. After eating lunch together and catching up I came back to Dave's house and lounged around for the rest of the evening.
The last few days have pretty much been like that. Meet the girlfriend, then come back here and lounge. Tomorrow finally changes all of that because I start my new job. I'm anxious to start there because it seems like a pretty good job. The company has provided me with a great salary, good working conditions and hours and an apartment(it's kinda small though). Either way, I guess I can't complain. Everyone wish me luck. I will keep everyone updated.